This year has been…..wild. 2018 will forever be the year of change, growth, and constant movement. 2018, a year to remember.
2018 was the year people came, left, or maybe even both. But nonetheless, they have all left a mark. It's the year my best friend became a much bigger part of my life, and I will forever treasure her constant presence despite almost moving away. It's the year she became an emotional rock to stand with and shoulder to cry on. 2018 is a year around thanking her. 2018 was also the year I finally understood the importance of happiness. Not future happiness, but happiness now. I'm no guru on the secret to a happy life, and this year certainly had it's moments when "happy" no longer seemed possible, but slowly yet surely I am learning. It took me 17 years that I would never do differently to learn how important it was to view life day by day. In a year where preparing for colleges seemed like the most important thing, I am so grateful to have learned otherwise. It was the year I shifted my priorities and took more time to care for myself. I did things that made me happy, and I detoxed many aspects of my life. It was a year of letting go. I stopped fighting the little battles. 2018 was the year I learned to drive! 2018 was the year I went to prom. 2018 was the year I met so many new people. 2018 was the year I met Chris, my grad student. 2018 was the year I went wild on freedom. 2018 was the year I made questionable choices. 2018 was the year we didn't make nationals. 2018 was the year I almost quit SciO. 2018 was the year I learned to stand on my own two feet. 2018 was my first time calling 911. 2018 was the year. 2018 was the year of late night dorm talks. 2018 was the year. While this is more a realization than a lesson, 2018 has taught me that we have a lot less control over our lives than we strive for. The moments that have characterized 2018 were often moments I fought against. I gave up on people and situation , unknowingly. I focused on things that I didn't think would benefit me in the long run. At times I overly fixated on the future or on the present. In many ways, where I am today is a finale to a path I wouldn’t have chosen willingly. But, here we are nonetheless. Still breathing. Perhaps easiest to overlook or even discredit in hindsight is that 2018 was a year burdened by unimaginable hardships. Moments when emotional instability, vulnerability, and insecurities nearly overtook me and when some of the most important people of my life promptly exited. There were moments when I lost sight of what I valued, who I was, and most concerningly, self-respect. As we come to the end, however, I now stand on a temporary pedestal built by friends and experience that overlook the bridge to 2019.
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June 2020
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